Recovery From Dogma

Marathon training is in full swing and my long runs on Sunday are getting longer. Out on the rural roads in Central Texas, there are few distractions, leaving me to my thoughts. It's what I enjoy most about distance training. What follows is a "note to self" following this morning's ruminating. Admit it Allen, you've been delusional for a very long time. Somehow you thought that when you began moving away from religious and political dogma that you would become clear and free of delusion; That you'd now become a Rational Thinker, relying on evidence and reason rather than prescribed, baseless dogma. Not true. It's become clear that your expectations were unrealistic. Your expectations of yourself and of others have been based upon some ideal image that you've conjured up. Based upon what? Probably lots of psychological and developmental reasons buried in there as the basis for these images, but regardless of their source, they're unrealistic and ha...

I recently saw the meme above on Facebook and thought "Ah, yes. To coexist, discuss life, all the things we have in common, our struggles, and all the good things we can do together. How awesome would that be?"  I think John Lennon would approve and love this concept. Who wouldn't? It happens every day around the world; people of different faiths (and none at all) engaging one another in respectful ways toward common goals. What else happens every day around the world? Not this. There are many ways the peace can be broken, but the deepest division happens along the lines that are most meaningful to us. Politics, for example: What values and resources are we going to share for the common good of the communities we live in? And then, of course, religion. Rather than focusing on the good things we can agree on and do together, someone decides to make their personal religious beliefs a mandate for others to accept or else there will be consequences. They could be temporal, po...

A friend's post this morning conspired in perfect timing with my own ruminating over life, expectations, disappointments, and moving ahead in a positive direction. His query involved self-loathing as an unavoidable outcome of not living out the salvation his Creator gave him. I responded with a call to look into the root cause of self-loathing and indicated that believing you are depraved, unworthy, and sinful from birth could lead to such self-loathing.  My counter-query is this: Do we all need a savior, even those of us who no longer have faith based in theism? I'm beginning to think the answer is yes.  Some groundwork: What is sin? I'd assert that "Missing the mark" is as good a definition as any. We can argue over where the mark is, whether placed there by God, reality, society, ourselves, etc.  Some versions of Christianity assert that Jesus died for your sins as an atonement and that all you need to do is accept this gift of forgiveness. Some believe it'...

I've been toying with the notion of returning to a church at some point in the future for quite a long time now.  Until very recently, every time I considered it, a sense of dread started to wash over me when I would mentally walk through the likely experience and the conversations I'll have with the people I meet.  Ultimately, "beliefs" would come up and I'd either have to keep my mouth shut or risk offending someone by expressing my heresy. I know, I know.  Some of my atheist friends are already asking themselves "Why in the hell would he do such a thing?" The forms of Christianity I've been involved with through my life have centered on "beliefs".  Whether they call it this or not, it's orthodoxy. Orthodoxy  (from  Greek   orthos  ("right", "true", "straight") +  doxa  ("opinion" or "belief", related to  dokein , "to think"), [1] ) is adherence to accepted norms, more specif...

I posted the following meme on Facebook this morning and it drew quite the discussion, as have others recently.  The discussion turned to why I'm often critical of Christianity. So, why am I critical?  Bad ideas.  I'm critical of what I find to be bad ideas.  Especially bad ideas I once embraced that cost me so much and I found to be hugely damaging.  I'm critical of bad ideas that I find damaging to others and I advocate their reconsideration. But criticizing Christianity as a whole is too broad.  I have many friends who practice various forms, hold disparate views and by no means find all of their views completely devoid of good fruit.  But I definitely take strong positions against the form I was taught.  What are some of those elements? The notion that we s hould not rely upon our own understanding is chief among them.  Somehow we're supposed to divine the mind of God and rely upon an intelligence outside of us.    This cost me...

This post is as much about feeling as it is about thinking. A strange thing happened to me yesterday.  I started thinking about the first babysitter I ever knew.  She took care of me during very early childhood, probably for a couple of years total.  I called her Mama Pardo.  I remember her as always being happy, funny, loving, and nurturing.  Her husband was a good man, but I remember him being a loud "Man's man".  I believe he was a blue-collar worker at a refinery or something. Although she only kept me for a couple of years, I was always fond of her and visited her and Papa Pardo a few times throughout my school years and for the last time while on leave from the Navy.  That last visit was about 28 years ago. We moved away from her neighborhood when I was two or three years old, then my parents divorced when I was four.  By the time I was nine, my mom and I had moved to Houston, over 250 miles away, so the only opportunity I would have to see ...

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! It's that special time of year when many of us will find peace and renewal with family and friends.  For many others, it has the potential to be a divisive time of stress and confrontation. I wish I would whip some guru-esque wisdom on you - a Vulcan Mind Meld perhaps - that could convince you that it's all within your control and that it is all going to be OK.  But I can't, because that's bullshit.  Every relationship has multiple parties and responsibilities lie on both parties for the relationship to be a success.  We can only control our piece. But we can control our reaction to the behavior of others.  We have a choice.  We can actively decide if we're going to buy-in to their drama and participate in it.  I know some who know exactly what they're heading for - whether it's a passive-aggressive family member or a drunken hot-head - and they see it as a game.  They're confident enough in who they are and kno...

When I was a Christian, I had a hard time buying into the "streets of gold" view of heaven, even as a child.  It didn't even sound pretty, ridiculous even.  Later I tried to imaging eternal bliss and endless praise for God, but I just couldn't get there.   It didn't sound heavenly to me.  But I persisted.  Later I tried to come to grips with "greater consciousness", but struggled with any semblance of self surviving into a meaningful afterlife.  Whatever happens, the only thing that makes sense to me is that we return to the universe in our elemental parts, but the notion of a surviving soul still escapes me. Be that as it may, I do understand man's struggle for meaning.  We all live it every day, trying to make sense of the world and our place in it.  We struggle for purpose beyond today, especially when things are less than ideal; "There must be a bigger plan."  Maybe, maybe not. But in our imaginings, can we construct a vision of heaven,...

I recently wrote a whiny Facebook post about my bitterness due to a running-related injury.  I haven't been able to run for a week due to what appears to be a case of Plantar Fasciitis in my left heel. Running is my outlet, my therapy, my time to think deeply - alone - about all things deep, funny, troubling, and beautiful.  It also helps keep the weight off as I'm prone to overindulging in pretty much everything I like.  In short, it's essential to both my mental and physical well-being. A friend commented on the Facebook post - perhaps in jest, perhaps not - something to the effect of "What's your excuse for the other 20 years of bitterness?" (not a direct quote, as somehow the post disappeared).  At first I laughed then the gears began to turn.  Unfortunately, it really is a great question for me. If I'm really honest, I've displayed more than my fair share of bitterness for not 20 years, not 25 years, but for just over 32 of my 49 years.  In fact,...

I hate superlatives.  When I use them, they usually bite me in the ass.  And frankly, I use them way too often.  One of my friends once joked "Every time you discover something new, you think it's 'the best thing ever'!"  Guilty as charged. So here I go again.  I'm going to assert that the following is The Most Dangerous Idea I've ever heard, all wrapped in a meme with a quote from a very popular (and very wealthy) woman. I really do try to see where people are coming from when they state a position (sometimes more effectively than others).  When I'm at my best, I ask clarifying questions to help me better understand what they're saying, why they're saying it, and what gives them this point of view.  When I'm at my worst, I write them off, deem them idiots because of the lack of merit I find in there statement without bothering to dig deeper. This statement, however, is so off-putting on so many levels, I'm struggling to find further i...

From darkness to darkness Seems bound in desperation. Looking at the bookends, What good can there be? What hope can be found? Darkness; We know it by what is missing; In the events that happen beyond it. Between the ends We find light. Brilliant illumination; Vim and vigor flow where there was nothing Filling the chasm of indifference Springing from unknown places Burning from conversion. From darkness to darkness We find meaning Deconstructing and building In the now In the what is. No remembrance of what preceded it Supposing what follows it We have today In a life And in a minute. From darkness to darkness We live We love We howl And we serve . We look and we see, Directed focus. Choosing the gaze which suits us Be it the ends Or the light in between.

Progress is a bad word to some.  Progress can't be trusted.  Progress is of the Devil .  Progress is code-speak for an untrustworthy agenda.  Etc. Etc.  Those who cling to dogma and have their minds made-up, regardless of what information may become available will always think so.  They may choose other words, but the effect is the same;  Conversation becomes futile and you / we / all are stuck in place. What to do?  How long shall we endure such rigidity before moving on?  Why would we continue to argue, fight, coax, teach, and attempt to lead those who refuse to listen? Imagine a primitive tribe living along a riverbank.  For centuries they've hunted, gathered, and subsisted in a limited region and made sense of the world according to that which they've been exposed to.  Conditions begin to change, resources begin to dwindle, and one day a party of explorers sets out to find more fertile ground; And they find just that, down-river...

It's Easter Sunday and my "believer" friends all over the world are celebrating the resurrection of their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  With all sincerity, I hope this is a day of peace, renewal, and celebration for each and every one of them.  It was not that long ago that I was celebrating right along with them. Rather than rushing off to church for such a celebration this morning, I've been sitting rather quietly while my family slept, sipping coffee, reading Facebook and Twitter feeds, but also contemplating the notion of resurrection and renewal.  What does it (or can it) mean to those of us who no longer believe in penal substitution atonement theology, Jesus as a "God-Man", and the like?  While I still spend a lot of time reading about who Jesus, the man of history probably was vs. the mythological notions so many dwell on today, church history, origin of doctrines, etc.,  there are still many biblical ideas that I find current and relevant from a ...

I recently saw a Facebook post by a "reasonist" page indicating that the author's Christian friend had become an atheist after watching a documentary entitled Zeitgeist , apparently without a word from the already-atheist friend.  The author was obviously proud that he/she had liberated this person from Christianity and turned them to "reason". I read the thread that ensued, watched the movie myself on Netflix then provided a link to a quality skeptic's site with a debunking review ( http://skeptoid.com/episodes/4196 ).  Many were a little uncomfortable with the posting about de-conversion and considered Zeitgeist to be an extremely weak documentary and any de-conversion with this less-than-scholarly work would likely not stand. Others criticized the author for attempting to indoctrinate the Christian into thinking the way they did about religious matters.  I've been grinding on this a bit for the past couple of days.   Many of the atheists / freethinke...

I had an interesting conversation late one night with a very close friend a few months ago.  He's a Christian and has been struggling to understand my departure from theism.  It was a very good, passionate discussion that we left well. In response to one of his questions I said something like "I'm just trying to find the truth.  I've finally honestly asked some hard questions and the answers I'm finding are far more credible than the ones I was told I had to blindly accept before."  His response was "EVERYONE is seeking the truth."  It took me about a nanosecond to declare his statement patently false.  I'm sure he still disagrees with me on this point. This portion of the conversation has stuck with me.  As I look back on the 40+ years I spent as a Christian, I think I thought I was seeking truth then too - with vigor.  I even considered leaving my profession to go to seminary to continue this quest.  But was I really seeking truth ?  ...