Recovery From Dogma

This post is as much about feeling as it is about thinking. A strange thing happened to me yesterday.  I started thinking about the first babysitter I ever knew.  She took care of me during very early childhood, probably for a couple of years total.  I called her Mama Pardo.  I remember her as always being happy, funny, loving, and nurturing.  Her husband was a good man, but I remember him being a loud "Man's man".  I believe he was a blue-collar worker at a refinery or something. Although she only kept me for a couple of years, I was always fond of her and visited her and Papa Pardo a few times throughout my school years and for the last time while on leave from the Navy.  That last visit was about 28 years ago. We moved away from her neighborhood when I was two or three years old, then my parents divorced when I was four.  By the time I was nine, my mom and I had moved to Houston, over 250 miles away, so the only opportunity I would have to see ...

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! It's that special time of year when many of us will find peace and renewal with family and friends.  For many others, it has the potential to be a divisive time of stress and confrontation. I wish I would whip some guru-esque wisdom on you - a Vulcan Mind Meld perhaps - that could convince you that it's all within your control and that it is all going to be OK.  But I can't, because that's bullshit.  Every relationship has multiple parties and responsibilities lie on both parties for the relationship to be a success.  We can only control our piece. But we can control our reaction to the behavior of others.  We have a choice.  We can actively decide if we're going to buy-in to their drama and participate in it.  I know some who know exactly what they're heading for - whether it's a passive-aggressive family member or a drunken hot-head - and they see it as a game.  They're confident enough in who they are and kno...

When I was a Christian, I had a hard time buying into the "streets of gold" view of heaven, even as a child.  It didn't even sound pretty, ridiculous even.  Later I tried to imaging eternal bliss and endless praise for God, but I just couldn't get there.   It didn't sound heavenly to me.  But I persisted.  Later I tried to come to grips with "greater consciousness", but struggled with any semblance of self surviving into a meaningful afterlife.  Whatever happens, the only thing that makes sense to me is that we return to the universe in our elemental parts, but the notion of a surviving soul still escapes me. Be that as it may, I do understand man's struggle for meaning.  We all live it every day, trying to make sense of the world and our place in it.  We struggle for purpose beyond today, especially when things are less than ideal; "There must be a bigger plan."  Maybe, maybe not. But in our imaginings, can we construct a vision of heaven,...

I recently wrote a whiny Facebook post about my bitterness due to a running-related injury.  I haven't been able to run for a week due to what appears to be a case of Plantar Fasciitis in my left heel. Running is my outlet, my therapy, my time to think deeply - alone - about all things deep, funny, troubling, and beautiful.  It also helps keep the weight off as I'm prone to overindulging in pretty much everything I like.  In short, it's essential to both my mental and physical well-being. A friend commented on the Facebook post - perhaps in jest, perhaps not - something to the effect of "What's your excuse for the other 20 years of bitterness?" (not a direct quote, as somehow the post disappeared).  At first I laughed then the gears began to turn.  Unfortunately, it really is a great question for me. If I'm really honest, I've displayed more than my fair share of bitterness for not 20 years, not 25 years, but for just over 32 of my 49 years.  In fact,...

I hate superlatives.  When I use them, they usually bite me in the ass.  And frankly, I use them way too often.  One of my friends once joked "Every time you discover something new, you think it's 'the best thing ever'!"  Guilty as charged. So here I go again.  I'm going to assert that the following is The Most Dangerous Idea I've ever heard, all wrapped in a meme with a quote from a very popular (and very wealthy) woman. I really do try to see where people are coming from when they state a position (sometimes more effectively than others).  When I'm at my best, I ask clarifying questions to help me better understand what they're saying, why they're saying it, and what gives them this point of view.  When I'm at my worst, I write them off, deem them idiots because of the lack of merit I find in there statement without bothering to dig deeper. This statement, however, is so off-putting on so many levels, I'm struggling to find further i...

From darkness to darkness Seems bound in desperation. Looking at the bookends, What good can there be? What hope can be found? Darkness; We know it by what is missing; In the events that happen beyond it. Between the ends We find light. Brilliant illumination; Vim and vigor flow where there was nothing Filling the chasm of indifference Springing from unknown places Burning from conversion. From darkness to darkness We find meaning Deconstructing and building In the now In the what is. No remembrance of what preceded it Supposing what follows it We have today In a life And in a minute. From darkness to darkness We live We love We howl And we serve . We look and we see, Directed focus. Choosing the gaze which suits us Be it the ends Or the light in between.

Progress is a bad word to some.  Progress can't be trusted.  Progress is of the Devil .  Progress is code-speak for an untrustworthy agenda.  Etc. Etc.  Those who cling to dogma and have their minds made-up, regardless of what information may become available will always think so.  They may choose other words, but the effect is the same;  Conversation becomes futile and you / we / all are stuck in place. What to do?  How long shall we endure such rigidity before moving on?  Why would we continue to argue, fight, coax, teach, and attempt to lead those who refuse to listen? Imagine a primitive tribe living along a riverbank.  For centuries they've hunted, gathered, and subsisted in a limited region and made sense of the world according to that which they've been exposed to.  Conditions begin to change, resources begin to dwindle, and one day a party of explorers sets out to find more fertile ground; And they find just that, down-river...